just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
