we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
