I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
