You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
