I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize