you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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