Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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