I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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