I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
