good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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