Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
