Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize