Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
