We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
