Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Porn is love you can see.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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