doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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