she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
