Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
