my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
