uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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