he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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