I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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