I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
