i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
