Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
