Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize