what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My pussy is not your playground.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
