thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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