I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
