If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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