There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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