That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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