The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
