Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize