Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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