i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
