i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
