If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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