But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
