You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
