I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize