i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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