he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
