were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
