hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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