im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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