She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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