And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
