I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!