I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever