god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.