so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there