Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!