I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.