WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
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I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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