I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
