____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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