Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
