When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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