it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
