dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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